Occasions of Grace

and the importance of looking for the good in everyone

“All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us, and the change is painful.” -American novelist Flannery O’Connor

The term grace is defined in ten ways by the fine people at Merriam-Webster. It’s a word that has a unique simplicity to it, yet can be used differently. The word exists in the form of eight nouns and two verbs. I will always think of my younger brother yelling, "GRACE!” right after my Mom would implore us to say it before eating. The memory makes me laugh to this day. Whether as a noun meaning a short prayer before a meal that asks a blessing or a transitive verb defined as to confer dignity or honor on, the true meaning of the word might in fact be undefinable even though the experience of it is usually unforgettable.

Recently, while sitting with my eighty-five-year-old neighbor, he mentioned how people in our lives provide us with occasions of grace. That those who surround us are the catalysts for these incredible moments. Whether due to their actions or inactions, good or poor decisions, faults or strengths, each person’s presence in our lives is an occasion for grace. Our fellow human beings help us to see, feel, and understand how grace works in the world today. I couldn’t agree more.

A few weeks ago a new student was placed in one of my U.S. History classes. This young man came to our school from a foreign country and had very little understanding of the English language when he arrived. The effort he has put into learning despite having to communicate with Google Translate (an incredible tool by the way) has certainly made an impression on his fellow classmates. How do I know this? When he was absent a couple of days last week, just about every student asked me if he was okay or wondered where he was. In high school, that never happens. Keep in mind his communication with them has been limited to a few smiles and one or two word responses like “thank you.” If his presence hasn’t been a grace, I’m not sure what is.

Likewise, seeing the division we have created in this country politically can be a harbinger of grace. Cruelty toward our fellow man and woman is nothing new. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say the venom shown toward those that vote differently from us has ever before reached such an extreme level in American politics. Thanks to the internet and social media, everyone has a platform to spew hate. Seeing the importance many have put on degrading those that think differently from them in the realm of politics can also be an occasion of grace.

American novelist Flannery O’Connor grew up in the segregated South and was constantly looking for grace throughout her short life. She recognized many things needed to change and said the following about her writings: "All of my stories are about the action of grace on a character that is not very willing to support it, but most people think of these stories as hard, hopeless, and brutal.” Much of her writing shows the absolute cruelty of humans toward each other. Another great quote attributed to her is: “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.” This is no doubt where grace comes into our lives, often in the face of cruelty, something this author clearly understood.

Maybe the best example of what grace is was given by my brother-in-law Chris’ father Bill. While delivering his eulogy, his eldest son Billy mentioned how his Dad would always search for the good in people instead of focusing on the unsavory aspects of their personalities or actions. There are good things to be found in those that surround us in this beautiful country of ours. While personal bias seems to pull us toward focusing on the negative in those that stand opposite of us on anything and everything, grace pulls us to do as this quiet, unassuming father of six did throughout his life— always look for the good in everyone because as he often said, “It is there, you just have to find it.”

In a society like today that seems to love division, one can understand what Flannery O’Connor meant about human nature resisting grace due to the change it causes in us, because we humans don’t do well with change. Maybe if we sought the good in those we vote for and vote against, know and don’t know, admire and don’t think too highly of, it can become an occasion of grace that makes each of us a better version of ourselves and one that will help bridge the ever growing divide that ails humanity today.

-Tommy O’Sionnach