I love my dad. He used to walk around the whole neighborhood and collect old furniture and fix it, like MacGyver with duct tape. One time, he brought a television home. I said, “Damn, that TV has 500 channels.” When I got older, it didn’t have 500 channels—it was a knob from the oven. My favorite channel was 300 degrees.
-Felipe Esparza
Of all the wonderful gifts the world wide web has given us, it’s access to great moments that really stand out—and there is no shortage of them for our viewing pleasure thanks to social media platforms everywhere. It seems that every impressive event or seminal moment is captured just by pressing record on our smartphones.
Recently, I saw a clip that would fall under the category of “Dad Hacks” or examples of the things that many of our creative fathers did or currently do to remedy various problems or situations. In this link a father wisely puts a wiffle ball at the end of his fishing rod and holds it out for his young son to hit—which he does—and then reels the ball in without having to chase after it. The YouTube video was titled, Dad said work smarter, not harder.
Unfortunately, not all Dad Hacks end up being smarter as much as the solution—usually a temporary one—to a problem or situation. They come in various forms and reek of creativity. These brilliant moves are not always pretty—but they certainly get the job done. Here are some of the better Dad Hacks that friends and family have shared with me over the years and a few of my own.
The Any Occasion Card.
Do you ever wonder what to do with those remaining holiday greeting cards? Well do I have the solution for you. Using any writing utensil one can magically transform extra holiday cards to commemorate birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, first communions, or retirements just by crossing off a few key words and scribbling in a suitable replacement. Sure the snowman or wreath look a little out of place, but it’s the thought that counts, right? I’m still not sure if the laughter brought on by the recipients of these beauties was the this is funny or what is wrong with you variety.
The Rubberband Wallet
My friend John has perfected this move. As you can see above, he is able to include money, cards, and—most remarkably—a chapstick in his tightly bound rubber banded stack of necessities. Most males try to avoid the “George Costanza” wallet and, with prices the way they have been, a money clip is out of the question. Just take a stroll over to your trusty junk drawer, and you will find all that you need to keep those important items secure.
The Duct Taped Lint Remover
No need to take your formal wear to the dry cleaners! A roll of duct tape will do just fine to spruce up your suit for the next wedding or funeral. The key to this hack is tearing the correct length of tape. Too small or too big and it’s not as effective. Think Goldilocks here.
Grass Cutting Shoes
The final stop in the life of a pair of shoes is often for grass cutting duty. A special shout-out to those middle age men who creatively decide that those bulky, white New Balances can still serve a purpose. The shade of green these well-worn warriors turn is indicative of the envy the neighbors will have when they see what a bang for their buck these men have gotten out of their footwear.
Repurposed Jars
It’s a common move to refurbish all manner of clear jars to hold nuts, bolts, nails or screws. But it takes a true master of the hack to pull off what my colleague’s Chris and Dave have achieved with the bolted in lid maneuver. The greats can usually be spotted just by observing the set up of their work and storage spaces.
Mastery of Multiple Materials
Whether it’s PVC Piping expertise, fishing-line usage, bungee cord manipulation, or the perfect use for a carabiner as seen above, my friend Jeff is like the Bo Jackson of Dad Hacks. When my colleague Eric and I informed him we needed to block a large portion of the steps in front of AAHS in order to more efficiently direct students through security lines, Jeff went to work in his laboratory and created this yellow roped/pink carabiner masterpiece that has held up for two school years now.
Speed Dial Santa
One of my proudest hacks was one I started using at the beginning of the cell phone age when I added the name of “Santa” to my contacts list. On a few occasions when one of my three daughters would misbehave during their believing years, I would threaten to call the big guy—even going so far as showing them his name in my contacts list. Luckily they never called me out on it, and my direct line to Santa remained a powerful deterrent.
Pitcher/Vase
A few weeks ago, my daughter Jane asked me for a vase to hold the flowers she received from her musical. After I finished laughing at the fact she thought I owned a vase, I put on my Dad Hack hat, and solved the problem by turning my plastic, blue iced-tea pitcher into a temporary vase. It wasn’t my best Dad Hack—my buddy Tim thought it was more of a “Hack Dad” move—but it did the trick.
In a world filled with stumbling blocks, it’s comforting to know that there are always people on the job searching for solutions. Sure they are not always the prettiest or popular fixes, but what they lack in beauty they make up for in practicality. As long as there are problems to solve, you can be certain that various, outside-the-box adjustments, known as Dad Hacks, will likely be applied as the remedies. Ingenuity at its finest.
-Tommy O’Sionnach
Brilliant move Coach!!!!!
And you certainly have!