Angel 444

Create 4 Her

“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged, their feathers are just too bright.”

-From The Shawshank Redemption

Nestled in at the bottom of the hill overlooking Lake Erie at Rocky River Park sits a swing dedicated to a remarkable life. A life that left an indelible mark on the world and still does to this day. A life that ended in a way nobody could see coming, leaving family and friends debilitated with grief due to the brevity of time they were given. But, in death, the short life of Daniela DiSanto has sent a ripple throughout her Northeast Ohio community that is as beautiful as the view of the sunset from the swing that honors her.

Daniela was an old soul. Of course, not in the same way of “Old King Cole,” but by all accounts, she may have been merrier than the man from the beloved nursery rhyme. She was unapologetically and uniquely herself, rarely seen without a smile. The few times I remember seeing her at my sister Julie’s house left me with the impression she was just a happy-go-lucky kid, one who looked like she had just gotten off the boat from Italy!

On the evening of August 17, 2021, I received a phone call from my sister Ellen who informed me that Daniela had taken her own life. There were no signs. She was days away from starting her second year at Miami of Ohio. Her mother Nicole, her father Bobby, and big sister Kennedy, were left shattered, as were hundreds of others who knew the vivacious West Park native. There were no signs of depression. Daniela was the last person anybody would ever expect to be struggling mentally; it was unfathomable.

The grief has taken its toll on many over the last four years, but, according to Nicole, in recent months, it has softened. It never goes away, but this past Saturday, as we walked from Daniela’s swing to the pier at Bradstreet’s Landing along with Julie, Ellen, and my niece Francie, Nicole talked about her baby girl and what she has been doing to honor her this May, a month dedicated to those who struggle with mental health.

Starting May 1st, which is Daniela’s birthday, and going through the 31st, Nicole is endeavoring to walk 444,444 steps to help raise awareness for all those who battle mental health issues, particularly for those who suffer in silence, as Daniela did. The number of steps she chose honors the angel number that Daniela’s friends (“the goons” as she called them) chose for their beloved friend—444.

It’s a number that Nicole has seen many times since Daniela’s passing, letting her know that her youngest isn’t far away. One time it was after a hike, when she and my sisters looked at their mileage and it read 4.44 miles. Other times Nicole has noticed 444 on a license plate in front of her, and often it just so happens to be 4:44 when she either wakes up or randomly checks the time on her phone. Those three fours are a constant reminder of Daniela’s presence.

Nicole mentioned how grateful she is for the “angels” among us who have been there throughout the last four years. Nicole’s “village of peeps” includes some strong women who have been her “rocks.” Using Facebook, she has been chronicling her journey to 444,444 while raising money in support of mental health awareness. One of the quotes she recently posted perfectly sums up what she is trying to do by telling Daniela’s story:

One day, you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will become someone else’s survival guide.

The number of lives that are saved when someone else takes their own life probably isn’t a point many dwell on, but I’d guess it’s substantial. The sudden onset of grief awakens in us an empathy for our fellow man, and for a short time we become more aware of those around us, especially those who may be struggling with different issues. Our usual self-absorbing natures change, but it shouldn’t take a designated month to serve as a reminder of the plague that depression has wrought on so many in our world today.

One of the things I learned about Daniela was what an amazing artist she was, winning awards and being honored at her high school, Magnificat, for her talents. Today, part of the fine arts wing is named in her honor. Below is one of the award-winning videos she created. It’s a minute and a half reminder of just how precious our time here on Earth truly is. Please take a moment and watch.

A few weeks before she died, Daniela got a tattoo of the word “create.” She told her mom that it meant “create the life you want.” It was the last message she left for her family and friends and has become her lasting legacy. “Create 4 Her” is the mantra that Nicole holds in her heart as she walks to honor the beautiful young woman many miss so dearly. It’s a mother’s act of love if there ever was one.

This picture was taken on the one-year anniversary of Daniela’s death. If you look closely, you can see what appears to be the profile of an angel soaring over the beautiful Lake Erie sunset.

Just as Daniela’s video mentions that what happens now is a result of what has transpired in the past, her story affects many today, and will do so well into the future. There is no doubt that Angel 444 is walking beside her Mom as she raises awareness for those who are struggling in silence, letting them know there are people who can help. It’s a reminder for us to begin each day with the question, “Who is hurting today and how can I help?” We need to take Daniela’s message and help create a kinder world. With every step she takes, Nicole is creating a survival guide for others and honoring the legacy of “Create 4 Her.”

-Tommy O’Sionnach